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  • Writer's pictureKate

Don't put yourself in a box

Updated: Feb 9

You asked us:

I'm hiding my emotions because I'm 'the strong one'.

Here’s what Amity has to say:


Boxes are not very liberating places to be. Being put into the strong box, the funny box, the clever box is useful to no one. Even worse if feeling like you can’t express yourself in the way you need to because of the box you have been put in is quite frankly, a disaster! Being the one that’s relied upon, that’s sorts everything out, that never wobbles, actually makes the other person more dependent on you.

What might make it worse:

Feeling like you have to hide your vulnerabilities because someone else needs you to be ‘the strong one’ is an enormous ask, an unfair and unachievable one. Sometimes people who feel they can’t show weakness in their relationship feel forced to seek out another person who will give them the permission to share with their feelings and needs, no expectations attached.

What might make it better:

As weird as this sounds, sharing what makes us anxious, worried, wobbly is a strong thing to do. To show your emotion, to own it and cope with it is a powerful thing to do. Sharing it in a way that feels ok for you will make things better, will help you to form a stronger bond with the other person. When you show some vulnerability (what makes you feel like you are not coping) with another person you let them in and that is how you build trust and closeness.

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