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  • Writer's pictureEmily

Am I the resident Butler?

You asked us:

I'm pulling all the housework weight but we both work full time - help before I scream!


Here’s what Amity has to say:

Being the sole domestic god or goddess is frustrating regardless of who you live with. If you live with a partner that doesn’t do their fair share, we can start to feel a bit like their parent and that’s not attractive! If you live with other types of roomies (even your older, more than capable offspring) it can feel like you’re the only one doing the ‘adulting’. Are you a partner, a housemate or are you in fact the resident Butler?


What might make it worse:

Throwing a tantrum about it won’t help as the other person is likely to feel ‘got at’ and get defensive. Carrying on with the burden of doing ‘everything’ however will just become more frustrating over time and you might end up eventually putting the mop (either end will do) where the sun doesn’t shine…


What might make it better:

Talk to your unwilling housemate about the situation and how it’s making you feel.  Then agree to spend a few days writing down all the jobs that get done between you both, one list might resemble the dead sea scrolls and it probably won’t be theirs! Then it’s time for a good old-fashioned jobs rota. Remembering of course that your version of clean might be different to theirs. Compromise is key here and there might be jobs you don’t mind as much, so you can negotiate and do a trade-off for something they don’t enjoy so much! 

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