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You asked us:
We have just had a baby and we seem to be bickering over everything! What should we do?
Here’s what Amity has to say:
So, you just had baby and it’s rocking your relationship love boat? What a surprise! To be fair sometimes it is a surprise because we are imagining baby bliss and what you get in reality is the shock of how obsessed you both become with how much sleep you have had and how much you resent the other person for the 10 mins more they had than you. You have something new to argue about and you are going have to find a way to communicate that doesn’t erode the warmth in your relationship.
What might make it worse:
Pretending you’re ok with the division of parental responsibilities like getting up in the night, changing nappies and everything else when really you are seething.
Telling the other person what you think they should do differently.
Only talking about what is difficult when you are angry with each other.
What might make it better:
Being brave enough to be honest about how you are feeling and what you are struggling with.
To accept that it's
OK not to love everything about your new life having had a baby.
Understanding that it is normal for your relationship to change when something in your life changes, like having a new baby.
Think about what you would like to be different and find a time when you are both calm and try hard to explain what you need in a way that doesn’t make your partner feel got at.
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