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  • Writer's pictureKate

The green-eyed monster.

You asked us:

I’m jealous….I know that’s on me but I can’t control it

Here’s what Amity has to say:

Let’s face it, feeling jealous sucks. It’s horrible to feel jealous, it feels out of our control, sometimes shameful, you want to be grown up and reject the jealousy, but it’s got you! It’s not helpful to deny you are jealous, it’s usually very clear for all to see. It feels like there is a lot more to be jealous of these days with the joys of social media throwing a bomb into your previously peaceful partnership.

What might make it worse:

Denial makes things worse. How many times have you said that you are not jealous when you are really? We know it's not cool to be jealous, it’s showing up our insecurities and who enjoys that feeling? Blaming the other person for your jealousy is a common move, as it’s covering it up, papering over the cracks does not remove the crack!

What might make it better:

Accept that you are a human, and humans get jealous, there are lots of reasons for some people having a more jealous nature than others. One thing everyone you can do that will make things better is sit with it for a bit. Recognise that it’s what you are feeling, and try to reflect on where it’s coming from. Are your thoughts rational? Are they fair? Try seeing the moment from the other person's perspective, why might they be struggling to understand when you have an attack of the green-eyed monster?

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